So many exciting things have happened since I last wrote; I'm in danger of forgetting them. A few days after Caroline left, Laura, Andrew and Matt arrive. For the first few days I was still sick from dengue so I had to abandon them to their fate and Laura's Spanish Phrasebook, but they didn't need me at all! Never got lost, coped with taxi drivers, buses, wierd Nicaraguan men... the local cong were so encouraged to have them out on the ministry with them, doing presentations, placing mags and commenting at the meetings. Now all I hear is "what date are they coming back?"

This weekend we had the District Convention held in English. It is arranged specially for all the need-greaters here, most of whom speak English, and for the couple of English-speaking groups around the country. It's always a fantastic occasion and so encouraging, not just because of the assembly talks, but also meeting up with all the others serving around the country that you hardly ever get to see - 651 total on Sunday ( including a few local "talent-spotters").

This convention was particularly emotional as it may be the last one held at the Bethel assembly hall before it closes down at the end of October. The chairman closing the assembly asked all to give a round of applause to the Bethel family for all their hard work over the 20 years the Bethel has been open since the ban was lifted in the 80's. After thunderous applause the chairman made his final comments and almost broke down in tears - you could hear the quaver in his voice. The branch coordinator closed in prayer. He has been a missionary in Nicaragua for 35 years and is now being re-assigned. Many of the Bethel family are being sent out into the field or to other branches.

15 of us crammed into the back of a truck hitching a ride after the assembly...

On Monday morning we were back at the assembly hall for a special meeting specifically for all those serving here. The talks are aimed at helping everyone carry on in their assignments, overcome problems particular to the country, and in this instance, to explain why the branches in Central America are closing and what the new arrangements for the missionaries and others serving here will be. One of the highlights of the meeting is that the Bethel provide lunch for everyone. The kitchens had been working since 4.00am to feed around 500 of us. My favourite part was of course the chocolate cake!

No one ever wants to say goodbye, so in the end they turned the lights off and slowly everyone trickled out to their cars, trucks, buses, bikes or tuktuks back to their assignments on a spiritual high to last them until next year.

I have been shamefully neglectful of my blog in the last few weeks, but I have a very good excuse: the lovely Caroline has been visiting and we have been gadding about, or as they would say here, being “vagas”. Vaga I think could be translated as vagabond, but I believe and hope they mean it in an endearing way, although they cannot understand the idea of going off to foreign parts (the other side of the country), as their idea of a holiday is a trip down to the end of the road to sit in the neighbour's backyard for an afternoon...

I have been doing my best to keep Caroline safe and sound, in fear of dreadful vengeance being exacted by Stan (aka Dan) if I don't, but Caroline seems to be very good at attracting danger. So far we have been offered weed by very strange men, had our boat capsize in alligator populated waters, and are soon to take up volcano boarding (sliding on a wooden board down the side of an active volcano , top speed record is 80 k/p/h).

The weed and alligator incidents happened in Costa Rica, which was a funny little jaunt. The part we visited was kind of a Latin American version of Florida, over-developed and full of American men called 'so- American-you-couldn't-make-it-up-if-you-tried” names like Chad, Tod and Zee... But the national parks are as wild and jungle-like as you could possibly want. We saw sloths and monkeys, alligators, crabs, snakes and poisonous spiders. It is worth a 15 hour journey on a bus with 2 busloads of people crammed onto it, even if you are squished up against the front windscreen hurtling down cliff-side roads at horrendous miles per hour!

If you look closely you can see our boat that sank. The man in the water owns the boat, he was very drunk at the time, and very disappointed that his boat sank.. I think he held us responsible!

Our next escapade was to a Special Assembly Day over on the Carribean side of Nicaragua in the town of Bluefields. It sounded like a good idea at the time, but I don't think the words “9 hour bus ride overnight, and then a trip down the river” really sank in, until we were actually doing it. The bus ride was indescribable – why would anyone want to loudly and un-tunefully sing Hakuna Matata at 3 am? Why is it necessary to beep at EVERYTHING you drive past, yes everything? Can you win a design award for “most uncomfortable chair”, no matter what position you sit in?
The river journey was the fun part - 2 hours on a speedboat down something straight out of National Geographic. We were even given life-jackets which was surprising in terms of the usual non-existence of Health and Safety, but disturbing as it presumably meant that on occasion these boats sink.... and there were definitely crocodiles! The whole group of us survived, speeding past little wooden shacks on stilts with palm-thatched roofs, with our bow waves disturbing little boys fishing in hand carved wooden canoes or women washing at the waters edge.

In Bluefields, accomodation had been arranged with the local brothers and sisters. We were dropped off at the end of the paved road and led on a muddy track through a maze of wooden shacks, charmingly situated on the edge of an open sewer which wound through the barrio. Caz and I followed, hearts sinking with every step, dreading the idea of staying in one of these tumbledown sheds. Fortunately the home of our host family was at least made of bricks and had a proper tin roof-- huge sigh of relief. No running water, so the bathroom was involved a lot of buckets from the well, but at least it wasn't a latrine!!!

The couple we stayed with, Alva and Leonard, are 87 and 86, and the kindest, sweetest people you could ever meet. They forced us to have their bed... “we'll find somewhere to sleep” and cooked us huge quantities of rice and beans for breakfast, lunch and it would have been for dinner if we hadn't managed to escape! They have been in the truth for over 40 years and Leonard had the privilege of “makin de ice for de frescos (refreshments) for de broders at de assembly”. He is also a real party animal, having over 70 back to the house after the assembly for a party and showing off his (amazingly good) moves to an intriguing mixture of salsa, reggae and country and western...

There were 240 in attendance at the assembly held in the local college grounds. The sound system was a “ghettoblaster” and they even served cakes and drinks during the day!

In between all this gallivanting, we have actually managed to squeeze in ministry, Bible studies and meetings. Somehow my congregation hasn't quite grasped that Caroline doesn't speak Spanish so they love coming up for a chat and gabbling away while Caroline smiles and nods. But they are so excited to have another foreigner, and if they have any few words of English they will try it out on her.

Luxury is relative:
My house here has been described as “permanent camping”, or, according to Mum, “living in the garden” due to the lack of glass windows and walls. I now realise that I am actually living in the lap of luxury and have nothing to complain about, ever since I paid a visit to some friends who have recently been re-assigned to a huge territory up in the mountains.

Village is too grand a word to describe where they live, hamlet is more like it and it lies 2 hours away from the nearest large town over a dreadful dirt track.

slight obstacle in the road...

Our friends are sharing a place with a special pioneer couple who have been serving for almost a year in this territory. There is no congregation, or even any publishers apart from the 4 of them. They hold the meetings in their house, and both brothers take it in turns to do all the talks, while their wives do a talk each week on the school with each other.

Shane and Vanessa have done wonders with their room, which is in the style of a grey, concrete bunker – Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen would not be impressed - but they have managed to make it comfortable and even cosy, in spite of no fixtures or fittings, or even running water. The big downside of no running water is.... a latrine!!!

I loathe latrines...3 tin walls and a curtain around a hole in the ground. Usually the stench is indescribable and they are generally crawling with cockroaches and smothered with flies, but... it is amazing what can be done with a bit of imagination. I have never seen such a stylish and spotless latrine – it even has a toilet seat and a special sliding piece of wood to stop the bugs crawling out – Shane's carpentry genius. In spite of these improvements I think the qualities of long-suffering and endurance are definitely required. Mum, Dad and I endured for 2 days, but they are there for the long haul.

the lock on the bathroom door didn't really work...

They do have the compensation of a truly fantastic ministry. I thought my territory was good, but theirs is unbelievable. In the morning we went out for 2 hours, but only managed to call at 4 houses as every householder immediately asked us in to sit down. Traditional first call presentations don't really exist, you can go straight into a study of a brochure or the BT book at every door.

The local people are very poor, one of the places where we were invited in was made of bamboo sticks tied together with string, the gaps between filled with dried mud. The parents had 8 children and they all live there together, growing and selling beans to (only just) make a living. One of the sons I spoke to described how hard the local evangelical churches made their life, as they all insist on a tithe, which isn't necessarily the usual 10%, but can be up to 50% under some of the more rapacious pastors. In spite of this lots of the local people still attend the church as it is the only source of entertainment. Happy-clappy singing and dancing 4 nights a week make it into a kind of nightly variety show with karaoke! Our meetings can't quite match up to that!

So far around 15 studies make it to the meetings there regularly, including one old man who walks about 4 km there and back despite opposition from his wife.
Perhaps by the time Shane and Vanessa leave, there may be a little group or congregation started.

This is a lonely blog now, with only me to write in it since Melissa and Julia have gone back home. :( Fortunately, or unfortunately, I'm never really alone in the house, there is always plenty of wildlife to keep me company. I share my house with lots of gecko's, iguanas, a bat, a mouse, a scorpion and a dog. The dog is the most annoying member of the zoo, but the bat seems harmless. If I ever run out of food I can make iguana soup – the local brothers keep offering to kill one for me so that I can eat it... so far I haven't really felt hungry!

Wissy hiding from the bat.

Even with the loss of Wissy and Jool, our cong now has a new member.... a chicken! A squawking chicken fluttered out of the storage cupboard before the meeting the other day. The elderly brother who is the night guard at the hall found it wandering around the garden, and thought “chicken soup”, and put it for safekeeping in the storage cupboard – where else would you keep a chicken in the kingdom hall!?

If you ever complain about hospitals at home, think again! Today I went to visit a Japanese sister who was knocked off her bicycle by a bus last night. The hospital was over-crowded with people and bodies everywhere. There are no stretchers or porters, so the sick or accident victims are carried in the arms of their family until a bed can be found for them. Quiet and privacy is unheard of as beds are crammed into all possible spaces in the wards; hygiene is non-existent with cockroaches crawling all over the place.
In spite of all this horror, it is at times like this that the incredible brotherhood is really seen. Within less than ½ hour of the accident, the ward was full of brothers and sisters. It seems as though almost every Witness in the town has been to visit. The injured sister's first concern was her Bible studies, so she was frantically giving out the addresses of her studies to the sisters so that they could visit and explain why she couldn't come. The sister doesn't seem to have any very serious injuries, so hopefully she will be back on her feet, but perhaps not her bicycle, and with her studies as soon as possible.

Last week, an elderly sister from our congregation, who had been ill for some time, sadly died. The funeral was on the Saturday, but first, on the Friday night, there would be a “vela” or a wake, “would we like to come?” We were a bit taken aback by the idea of a wake, and we weren't sure that it was really scriptural. We asked one of the local missionary brothers and it turns out that here in Nicaragua, at least among the Witness's, wakes aren't the all night drunken parties that they are in other parts of Latin-America. Generally the family and friends will go to the house to spend some time with the family, some will stay all night, but most just visit for a few hours.
We agreed to go to the vela, as not going could give offence as it is viewed as disrespectful.
As we arrived at the house, there were lots of chairs set out in garden and thankfully we saw a few that we knew from our cong. We sat down with them, and wondered what would happen now. A sister suddenly grabbed me by the hand and said “Come in, come in, she's in here, in the front room.” I really didn't want to go in, I could guess what would be inside, but I had no choice. Everyone who comes to the vela will go and look into the open coffin, surrounded by enormous wreaths, and see the dead person fully made up with bright red lipstick, a purple rinse and dressed in their best --- and then with cotton wool stuffed up both nostrils. It's quite a shocking sight at first, especially when the daughter kept on touching her dead mother, stroking her hair, it's somehow unnerving to see.
Afterwards we sat outside for a while, as more and more people came to the wake. In order to let everyone know about the death, they hire a car with loudspeakers to drive around the area to announce in a solemn booming voice “Today we mourn the passing of so-and-so, mother of so-and-so, daughter of so-and-so. The funeral will be on Saturday at 3.30 and the wake begins tonight. May she rest in peace”. We hear these cars almost every day in Leon but this was the first time we'd been a part of it.
After the funeral talk at the K.H on the Saturday, the mourners all walk behind the coffin all the way to the cemetery. It's a common sight here to see crowds of people thronging the streets, parading slowly behind an ancient truck, hastily converted into a hearse. Of course, for the men, it is another wonderful excuse to get very drunk and harass white girls!

To change the subject completely, the other event of note we have had was our children's party! We'd invited all the small children to our house so that we could have an excuse to have a water fight. It turned out in the end, that as Nicaraguan children are told in spite of 45 deg heat, they will die of pneumonia if they get wet, that it was me and Melissa who got the wettest! It was a very simple party, but it was so sweet to see the children so excited about the simplest of things. Musical statues, and pass-the-parcel don't seem that exciting but these kids had never played

games like this before – I'd never realised the rules of musical statues were so hard to grasp!

Nicaraguan Superstitions: (True stories)

• “Be careful when you are eating cold melon because if you eat a whole one, you will die.”
  Amused silence, and then “Oh really?”
  “Yes, I knew a man who ate his gallo pinto, then a melon, and he died.”

• “If you have flu, you can't go to the vela, because the cold from the dead body will make you worse. Oh, and if you have a cut, and you go to the vela, it might get infected, from the body...”
  
  
• “Don't have a cold shower when you are hot, as you'll get the flu” (no such thing as hot water showers here)


• 
  “Don't go outside in the cold if you have been ironing clothes, you'll get flu” (Outside in the cold??!! The COLD????!!!! So far the coldest we have experienced in Leon is 30)


• 
  “Don't walk barefoot on the cold tiled floor, you'll get ill!” (COLD tiled floor??!! Where are these cold tiled floors??? PLEASE, take me to them!)

We've recently heard a few illustrations, that we thought you might like to try including in your ministry: :)

• When explaining about the condition of the dead, ask your householder if they have ever had a rat in their house. There will be no hesitation in the reply: “Ah, Si, Si, por supuesto” Then, you explain that after killing the rat, you sweep it outside into the street, “and what happens to it then?”
  “Well, it disappears”.
  “Yes it does. The same happens when we die, our bodies disappear” ( But presumably not eaten by a cat or a beggar as would happen to the rat)


• 
  To illustrate the importance of Bible reading, ask your audience if they would ever skip eating their rice and beans each day. The audience will vigorously shake their head, to miss out your rice and beans is unthinkable. Then you could say “in fact, some of you will have rice and beans twice a day, and even, if you're very lucky, three times a day. In the same way, we should never miss out on Bible reading.”


• 
  If during a public talk, you need to give counsel in always paying Ceasar's things to Ceasar, you could use the following example, no need to mention paying taxes or mundane things like that:
  “Do you use barbed wire to attach onto the overhead power cables, in order to steal electricity from the State?” “If your neighbour has Satellite TV (an amazing amount do – their kids won't have shoes, but they will have TV), do you attach a cable to their dish to secretly steal their TV channels?”.
  

So much has been going on over the last few weeks. Our roof fell in, then came rainy season which left Melissa paddling through her room to rescue her floating possessions. We managed to get the roof fixed and then had an overload ( in the nicest possible way) of spiritual food with a C.O visit, Zone visit, and then Circuit Assembly. As there is no stadium suitable to house all the witnesses in the country only a few were invited to the assembly hall, so we were very privileged to be able to go and hear Brother Gerrit Losch from the Governing Body. He gave some very direct counsel, one point he mentioned was about the importance of return visits – regular pioneers in this country should be looking at about 60 return visits every month! The point that really stood out was in regard to the importance of Bible reading “if you don't read your Bible everyday, maybe it's because you don't love Jehovah enough”. Really makes you think.

We had the circuit assembly at the Bethel assembly hall, and it was eye-opening to see that some of the amenities we take for granted are totally unheard of for some of the brothers from the countryside. Hot-air hand dryers in the bathrooms may not seem anything special to us, but some of the sisters just stared in amazement, hardly daring to put their hands underneath and watching us carefully to see how these unusual inventions worked!

We have a VIP visiting right now, Ian, Melissa's Dad. He brought us chocolate and wine and in return we are introducing him to beans and rice and deep-fried cheese. :) Fair exchange is no robbery!

The latest excitement for us is the news that our cong. is being sent a missionary couple, so we can't wait for them to move into the congregation, they will be a huge help and encouragement, and will mean we will the grand total of 2 elders now.

Here are a few of the experiences we have had while out on the preaching here:

One lady Melissa called on, already had the Bible Teach book. She said that she enjoyed it and read it regularly by herself. Melissa asked the lady if she would like to study it with her and her reply was “Of course, could you come back next week?”

Julia and I called on a man this morning who immediately invited us to come in and sit down. He asked us why we were calling and we explained that we were Jehovah's Witnesses and we were calling to discuss the Bible. A conversation started and he began to tell us about his family, and how he realised money doesn't bring true happiness, so he tried not to be out at work on his farm all the time which meant that although they had less money, they were closer together as a family. He then went on to say how he liked reading the Bible, but that he felt that just reading it wasn't enough – it would be better to study it with someone who knew about the scriptures! We explained that as Jehovah's Witnesses we offered free home Bible study courses, and showed him the Bible Teach book. He looked through the index and got more excited as he read out the title of each chapter. He took the Bible Teach book and put it with his Bible and we arranged to go back next week and begin the study.



Sometimes when we are out preaching we tend to bypass large groups of men, as they tend to stare lecherously rather than listen, so when Julia came to a house with a 4 or 5 scruffy men sitting outside, she was tempted to move on to the next house, but the local sister she was with insisted that it was Julia's turn to call at this house. So Julia did a brief presentation and one man waved her away, but then another one spoke out explaining that the daughter of one of the men had just died. The father then spoke saying “My daughter committed suicide 9 days ago, she was a drug addict so she killed herself. What will happen to her? Show me from the Bible”. Julia showed him John 5.28,29 and arranged to return with the brochure “When Someone you Love Dies”.

I'd been out with a local sister all afternoon, and we hadn't had a very productive time, most of our RV's had been out. We were now on first call and it was beginning to go dark and everyone else had gone home, but we decided to do one more house. A girl about my age answered the door and I asked her if she liked reading the Bible and what was her favourite part. She replied that “of course, I like reading the Bible, it is very beneficial. Right now I'm reading the book of Revelation and find it fascinating but very hard to understand.” This was my cue to start racking my brains to remember as much as I could from the Revelation book. She agreed that studying the Bible was very important, so we arranged to return on her day off and start the Bible Teach book. That gives me a few days to do some homework on Revelation!

One of Melissa's studies was started when the girl approached her in the street while she was out preaching, to ask her what she was doing. Melissa explained and showed her the “Would you like to know the Truth?” tract. The girl said she'd always wondered what happens to us when we die. Melissa left the tract with her and made arrangements to return with the Bible Teach book.